This was breakfast at 6:15am as we waited to board the plane at BWI bound for Tecate, Mexico via San Diego. Why not have a Bloody many at the bar at same the idea! lol

Here we are, one year later, heading back at Ranch La Puerta. Just Mom and me, and I’m looking forward to being back, but honestly, it feels like we were just here.

Where in the hell did the last year go? I mean, like, really?? While living it, time seems to move fast, but it’s only when you compare where you are now to where you were a year ago, when returning to the same place, that it feels like life is stuck on fast-forward. It makes me want to work on slowing down more, even though, outside of vacation mode, it’s hard to do. But I’d like to try.

I’m so grateful for these trips—these moments that pull me out of the day-to-day grind, the hamster wheel that’s always turning in my head, the monkey mind that’s slamming two cymbals behind it. And then occasionally, that damned joker pops out of his box as the lever turns, scaring the living shit out of me. That’s my brain on a normal day. LOL.

Moments like this let me step back a bit and see the circus inside my head and remind me that I don’t always have to be the ringmaster. Sometimes, I can step back from the chaos, and in doing so, everything seems to slow down. It’s like being in slow motion, allowing me to pause and breathe, and somehow, that makes all the chaos in my head slow as well. It’s as if my thoughts are a spinning mass colored threads in my mind, and they starts to slow, untangling and straightening out into something organized and manageable, rather than a cluster of swirling confusion closing in on me.

Don’t get me wrong; my life isn’t a shit show—I promise. It really pretty damned great!But my mind, it’s always on. I literally roll over in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, and in that line between asleep and awake, there’s always some song playing on repeat in my head, often changing tunes multiple times a night. I have no idea when I last heard those songs, but two lines of a chorus will keep looping until I either drift back to sleep or wake too much, my mind moving to planning the day ahead.

It’s like this all the time—different content, different speeds, but always on. 

Moments like this, right here, right now, sitting on a plane with no access to the internet (even though I paid for it to get some work done), I’m forced to read, listen to music, or journal. Journaling is something I always want to get back into, but like most things, it ends up on my “list”—my list of things to do to be a better me. And it always gets pushed aside for being too busy, too tired, too lazy, or whatever the excuse.

But right here, right now, my mind isn’t churning. It’s sharing. It’s not filling with endless lists but emptying. It’s not reeling but creating space and time to just be. And just being feels pretty good. ❤️

… and yes the internet it back lol – so back to work it is 🤪